Stories in Motion

Writing the Law

I found this list of laws, most of which may still be on the books but unenforced. They are so quirky and since one of the components of good writing is motive, I’ll offer this exercise. Choose one of the laws on the list and write a piece of short fiction or a poem about how this law came into being. For instance, if pet cats in Colorado must have taillights, it would take a traffic wreck not to come up with an entertaining story about how that law came into existence. That one stray that had a knack for attracting weapons of mass destruction to 3rd street, or what happened after … what a city street might look like if every cat was sporting a unique tail lamp or what role the humane society would play when people started using their cats as solar conductors during the day. Who knows where your story might go with leads like these. And your brain will feel lighter too for jumping around outside of the kennel.

 

In Texas, it’s against the law for anyone to have a pair of pliers in his or her possession.

In Philadelphia, you can’t put pretzels in bags based on an Act of 1760.

Alaska law says that you can’t look at a moose from an airplane.

In Corpus Christie, Texas, it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.

In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.

It is against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that State.
In Illinois, the law is that a car must be driven with the steering wheel.

California law prohibits a woman from driving a car while dressed in a housecoat.

In Memphis, Tennessee, a woman is not to drive a car unless a man warns approaching motorists or pedestrians by walking in front of the car that is being driven.

In Tennessee, it is against the law to drive a car while sleeping.

In New York, it is against the law for a blind person to drive an automobile.

In West Virginia, only babies can ride in a baby carriage.
In Georgia, it is against the law to slap a man on the back or front.

A barber is not to advertise prices in the State of Georgia.
In Louisiana, a bill was introduced years ago in the State House of Representatives that fixed a ceiling on haircuts for bald men of 25 cents.

In Oklahoma, no baseball team can hit the ball over the fence or out of a ballpark.

In Rochester,Michigan, the law is that anyone bathing in public must have the bathing suit inspected by a police officer.
In Kentucky, it’s the law that a person must take a bath once a year.

In Utah, birds have the right of way on any public highway.

In Ohio, one must have a license to keep a bear.

In Tennessee, a law exists which prohibits the sale of bologna (sandwich meat) on Sunday.

In Virginia, the Code of 1930 has a statute which prohibits corrupt practices or bribery by any person other than political candidates.

In Providence, Rhode Island, it is against the law to jump off a bridge.

In the State of Kansas, you’re not allowed to drive a buffalo through a street.

In Florida, it is against the law to put livestock on a school bus.

InNew Jersey, cabbage can’t be sold on Sunday.

In Galveston,Texas, it is illegal to have a camel run loose in the street!

In North Carolina, it is against the law for dogs and cats to fight.

In Singapore, it is illegal to chew gum.

In Cleveland, Ohio, it is unlawful to leave chewing gum in public places.

In Virginia, chickens cannot lay eggs before 8:00 a.m., and must be done before 4:00 p.m.

In New York, it is against the law for children to pick up or collect cigarette and cigar butts.

In Massachusetts, it is against the law to put tomatos in clam chowder.

In WashingtonState, you can’t carry a concealed weapon that is over 6 feet in length.

In San Francisco, there is an ordinance, which bans the picking up and throwing of used confetti.

In Kentucky, it is illegal for a merchant to force a person into his place of business for the purpose of making a sale.

It is against the law in Connecticut for a man to write love letters to a girl whose mother or father has forbidden the relationship.

In Michigan, married couples must live together or be imprisoned. In Phoenix, Arizona, you can’t walk through a hotel lobby with spurs on.

In California, a law created in 1925 makes it illegal to wiggle while dancing.

In Utah, daylight must be visible between dancing couples.

In Michigan, it is against the law for a lady to lift her skirt more than 6 inches while walking through a mud puddle.

In North Carolina, it is against the law for a rabbit to race down the street.

In Georgia, it’s against the law to spread a false rumor.

In West Virginia, one can’t cook sauerkraut or cabbage due to the odors and the offence is subject to imprisonment.

In Missouri, a man must have a permit to shave.

The law states that more than 3000 sheep cannot be herded down Hollywood Blvd. at any one time.

InTexas, it is still a “hanging offense” to steal cattle.

In the state of Colorado, a pet cat, if loose, must have a tail-light.

 

For more poetry and fiction exercises from our archives and from the writers we know and love, go here.